Family Vacation Destination Gatlinburg, Tn (part 2)

When we finally arrived in Gatlinburg, it was dark and late so we didnt get any pics of the town but here are the pics we took while we were there....

The view from the top deck of the cabin

The most peaceful cup of morning coffee ever!

Zak and Zabe crashin on moms down time! lol

Kayla playin pool

Zabe trying to win!

Ku, who has seeped into a new "sagging" pant phase

which Ive been trying to tell him would land

him in his boxers...and heres the proof!

IM BOYCOTTING SAGGY PANTS!

Feeding the bears at 3 bears gift shop

The big bear is HUNGRY

Two Himalayan bears that were so cute

Racing on the track

I seriously need a camera that can handle

a lot of movement lol

I heard the choir sing when I saw this in the gift shop

Yep! Had to have this one too!



It was a great week....lots of fun, lots of peaceful cups of coffee on the deck just staring at the beautiful mountain view....It was exactly what we all needed. We had quiet times, we had loud times and we had so much fun! Cant wait til we go again!!

To end this post, I have to show you guys two things....

1- the rainbow that I walked out to....absolutely beautiful!

and 2- Our boastful "purple mountain majesty"....beautiful!

Family Vacation Destination:Gatlinburg, Tn. (Part 1)

So Im going to be very short in words (fingers crossed).

We took Lucas, he is Zaks best friend and is like an adopted son.

Also, my best friend's niece hopped a ride with us (my bf lives in Tn and her niece was here) on the way down.

Ok so here we go people :)

Packed like sardines~two more kids asleep in the back lol

FINALLY made it to Tennessee

 

after going to kristans house for the night

we went to Micheals family farm where

his dad took the kids in the back of the

truck to feed the cows....

they love it

you can barely see it

but they got to witness

the birth of a calf!

sooo coool!

Just the cutest great nephew ever!

And my beautiful niece Kiki <3

Adelyn playing with her cousins

Aww!!!

<3

Said by to family, Gatlinburg bound

(this is the view of Castle gwyyn from 840)

Definitely needed to see more so...

Presenting...

Castle Gwyyn!

This was the first time I have seen anything like this in Tennessee so it was really exciting for me. Plus, I LOVE the renaissance era and I just thought this was uber cool!

Gatlinburg, I miss you!

They say all good things must come to an end....

Ahh well...

Back to the swing of things.

Friday morning I got up at 6am (with only 3 hours of sleep) and we hopped in the car to come home. It seemed like the longest drive ever, but I made it in 10 hours so that was really great timing. One of the reasons it seemed so long was due to not having any radio and here's why....

I went grocery shopping and when I came back, I had the kids help bring all the groceries in. The next day I went out to go somewhere and the car was dead! One of the kids turned on the dome lights and left them on. The car battery was absolutely drained! Well, in this lovely Honda that I am driving, when the battery dies, the radio resets and you need to type in a code for it to work.

I called the dealership, they didnt have it. They said to look in the manual it should be written somewhere. Then they said I shouldve gotten a little card or a piece of paper with the code on it. I assured them that I never received anything of the sort. They then explained that the only way to get the code is to manually remove the radio and get the serial number, call them back with the serial number and they could give me the code.....

Ok so wait a second....

You are telling me that your "ANTI THEFT" system when you dont have the code is to remove the radio (which im pretty sure the thief would be doing), getting the serial number, and then calling in and saying..."hey, i lost the code, here is my serial number" and BAM! You get the code?????

Someone please tell me how this makes any sense

o-O

So anyhoo, I stopped at walmart for speakers for my phone. I figured I could use the music on my phone for our trip.

Aaannnd that was a no go....the phone had a higher volume itself than the speakers, so I gave them to kayla for her ipod and I used her earphones.

It was rather interesting.

I have developed a new love for John Legend...(mmm yummy) I absolutely love his....voice!

Anyways, I stopped at starbucks 3 times and got quad venti's (for those of you that dont know, thats the biggest size latte with 4 shots of expresso)

Ok well that will never happen again!

In my mind, its safe to do that because I get non fat, no whip so its the least amount of calories....but I never realized how much caffeine I was taking in. I might as well hook up an IV with a caffeine drip!! It was horrible....

About 10 minutes after finally making it home, I had the biggest panic attack Ive ever had.

Sidenote: I dont know if I have ever mentioned it here before but I have Acute Panic Disorder (A.P.D.) which I would love to do a post on one day...its exhausting!

It was horrible! Usually they last around 10-15 minutes, this one lasted around 30 minutes...

I dont know if it was because I had next to no sleep the night before or the long drive (the wind was insane and it took all my strength to keep the car controlled, the semi's were all over the place so it was quite a stressful drive), or the fact that when I returned home (I let Micheal come back home, but its on a trial basis only), he kept bumping into me everywhere I went....the kitchen, the living room, the hallway, the bathroom....I just felt the air leaving the house and my house felt so much smaller!

I just started to panic and then my chest got tight, I started having trouble breathing....every muscle in my body was tense and it last for 32 minutes!
HE HAS TO GO FOR GOOD!!!

I dont think Im fully recovered from it really. Im dealing with fatigue the past few days. It doesnt matter how much sleep I get, I am still fatigued...and saturday and sunday were the worst. I woke up feeling like someone had beat the living tar out of me...all my muscles were weak and sore.

So Im slowly getting back into the swing of things

(Thank God)

because basketball practice starts back up tonight and we have a game tomorrow and I promised a friend that sells party lite, that I would participate in a banquet as a host for a party so she could reach quota so I have to do that tomorrow night...then friday is pizza night with Milad and Ku has plans friday night so Im assuming that means lots of driving (Im the taxi cab to his friends), then Saturday is Zak and Zabes basketball game, Sunday is church and sunday dinner with mom....ohh and I am job hunting with Micheal (for Micheal not for me)...

Im feeling much better today

I have so much to blog about but Ive gone on and on already so Ill save it and split it up!

Hope every is having a fantastic week!  



Growth brings forth CHANGE

I am a creature of habit so change is hard for me...

Some things are happening in my life right now that have me feeling like the rug's been pulled out from underneath my feet.

That being said, one of my new years resolutions that I have started early is to be positive! No more negativity. I've kicked out the negativity and I want to see the glass as half full rather than half empty. So with these changes I am praying and trusting God to be the Captain of our ship and guide us through the storm.

It may seem a little dark and gray now

but I see the light beaming already and I'm looking forward to the view of the sun after the storm.

So, change?

I'm ready!!!!



No Santa here--Don't Judge Us

I'll tell you when....

When your kids have a friend spending the night and you are telling them all the real story of Saint Nick and said friend raises his hand, one sentence in and says

"uhh, wait, how is this possible? he's been living for that many years?"

I stood there...

frozen...

(see this is why I never allowed the belief in Santa Claus)

Ok now, first of all, this kid is 10 but he looks like hes 13. He is Zak's best friend but he's here so much that he has become family...he is like my kid and he fits in with all the boys. In fact, he is in the best friend/brother category to all of them really.

How did he not know?

I immediately stopped talking and said I wasn't going to finish with the story and Ku in absolute shock was asking him if he was being serious.

Ku says, "Do you really believe in Santa, dude? Like....Really??"

Lucas said, "well uhh I did, until you said it that way and now I'm second."

He went on to ask a list of questions...

1-does santa's workshop exist?

2-is there a north pole?

3-are their such things as reindeer?
and my personal favorite
(which occurred as we were all laying down for bed, camped out in the living room)
4-"so, wait, umm...if santa isn't real, then who eats the cookies and all the carrots?"

My oldest splurts out
"omg no way!! are you saying you leave out carrots for the reindeers too?"
At this moment I am thinking, omg I have raised "mean" kids! Why are they all laughing???
I threatened to take every single present back if they didn't stop, and by this time Lucas himself was laughing but...it's not funny!

Someone help me!

What am I going to tell his mother!

"Um, gee, Jules, I told Lucas that you've been lying to him this year...I have made your youngest child to believe that Santa doesnt exist!!"
???

YEA RIGHT!

So now I am going to have to find a way to tell her.

I've always used this time of year to dwell on our faith and it's a pretty deep thing here (not that santa isn't...and please know that i am NOT bashing parents who do santa...I think it's a very cute tradition but for me and my kids it's a very deep religious thing because that's how it was for me growing up and it was always really special, plus I have a fear of my children being let down because of a huge lie I built....thats why I'm so devastated that I've done that to Poor Lucas and Julie!)

So now I will have to live with the fact that I ruined Christmas AND single-handedly destroyed his trust in his family all together!

Just great!!

I cant wait til Christmas is over
I love this holiday but WOW! It's been a year, I'll tell ya that

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

My Little Lou

*******UPDATE*******

I am posting this to remember the journey to her real diagnosis and to help any fellow autistic parents out there. Obviously her diagnosis of hyperacusis was short lived. We found out shortly after this post that it was indeed autism.

So beautiful!! I have tears in my eyes as I write this post.

This is my Lacie Lou. She is my angel and the youngest of my 6. This blog is about her and is probably being written because last night was a "hard one".

As I type this Im trying to reach a conclusion as to wether or not I want to do this but I wanted to be real, right? So here it goes....

She is the light of my life and has brought more joy to us all than I ever thought possible. I didnt plan on her being here, in fact, I only wanted 1 kid....lol kinda passed that goal eh? My first child was the only planned child. The rest of my children were born on birth control (every form you can think of).

Before you go jumping the gun let me say that I would not trade not even one of my babies for ANYTHING! I am so glad God blessed me with them....all 6 of them!

Lacie is different from the older 5. Not because she has a different father, but because she was perfect! My other children all came out of the womb kicking and screaming and bouncing off walls. You think im kidding? I cannot tell you how many vcr's (yes I am that old) were stuffed and thrown away and bought again....oh and dont even start me on the toilets that were clogged with only God knows what and had to be replaced!

Not with Lacie, though. She came out smiling! She started laughing at just a few weeks and no it wasnt gas....it was just the amazing sweetness that exudes from her being!

She barely ever cried as an infant and even now, she only cries when somethings going on that she needs help with. She is a lover, ohh my is she a lover! She has a relationship with each one of my children in a unique way but the one she tends to cling to is Zabe, from day one!

I started noticing that there might be a problem about a year ago. My neice and I were pregnant at the same time. She had her daughter 3 weeks before I had Lou. Her daughter was crawling, walking, talking....hell, she was a super child really! I could not believe how fast this child advanced. She is incredibly smart and beautiful to boot. I know each child matures differently in their own way, this is not my first go-round! I know this, but I started thinking, "ok, why is she not talking at all? why is there no attempt at a word? How long can she continue with her own language?"

I started to bring up my concern, but her father (who lived with me at the time) wouldnt hear it. I, secretly, took her to a few specialists because I was concerned due to some of her behavior patterns that it could be Autism. After testing and a few "days of observation" they finally told me it wasnt Autism, or Aspergers....basically they just told me that she needed more time. She was a late developer but all was ok.

A few months later, I knew something wasnt right. I cant really put it into words but Im her mother and I just knew. She has this way of cupping her hands over her ears when she gets nervous....afraid...or even too excited! I finally called another specialist from Childrens Hospital....

FINALLY!

Someone who agreed that something wasnt right. After hearing me out (and watching me fall apart as I told him about things I noticed that seemed worrisome), he knelt down in front of me and said, "its ok to cry, Rachelle. You have been fighting this battle alone and you are right, there is something wrong. I think I know what it is and I want to give you some information. I am also going to give you a referral to a hearing specialist because I believe Lacie has Hyperacusis."

As I listened to him explain I cupped my hands over my face and started to sob! It was relief and fear all at the same time. It has a name! I am not crazy!! My daughter has a problem and Ive been tiptoe'in around everyones critisms and judgmental stares and comments, not to mention being bullied into keeping my mouth shut about my concerns because "there is nothing wrong with her!"

Hyperacusis

It has a name! She has an appointment  now with a specialist and we are finally going to be able to help her. The hardest part is yet to come. She will have to have her hearing tested and its pretty grueling and even painful for the people who have it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel though! They have hearing devices that can help, and I am praying fervourously for her to have what she needs to have a normal life.

Last night, she woke up at 3, holding her ears. She was crying. All I can think of is that my son had come and crawled up in bed with me while I was sleeping. He has turned the tv on and then fallen asleep. So it had to be something on tv that triggered it. I quickly turned it off but that did no good. Maybe it was a bad dream, I dont know, but for the next 3 hours she tried desperately to go back to sleep and kept waking up crying. I took her temperature, made sure everything was ok. She just wanted to lay with me....face to face.....and her tears broke my heart. By the time she went back to sleep, I was exhausted....physically and emotionally! I started crying and I got so angry for a moment. I guess you could say I was angry at God. I just kept saying to myself over and over..."why?? why does my poor angel have to suffer like that"  Its so not fair. My faith is a major part of my life but I will NEVER understand how the suffering of children in ANY way can be acceptable to God. (I dont mean to offend anyone here, but its a question that I will definitely have and keep until I am able to ask Him why one day)

I am letting her sleep in as much as she needs. When she wakes up, I am going to do bananas and cream oatmel just the way she likes it.

Speaking of oatmeal, today is thursday...I need to go grocery shopping...uuugghhh....

Do you know how hard it is to go grocery shopping for a weeks worth of food for 6 children? Especially when you have a toddler in tow?

I am determined to make this a good day either way....I think I will take my angel to the carousel today :)

Happy Thursday, Folks

One of my favorite pics....that smile is so infectuous!

Is she not just the picture of beauty?

Sisters <3



My day with Zabey Babey

Today I spent the day with My Zabien. He needed some "mama" time! It sucks being the "middle" child sometimes. I try to spend one on one time with each of my kids on a daily basis but I've been so busy trying to get this lil business of mine up and running, that I've let that slide. I decided to make up for that and spend the whole day with him.

The Comedian 

Drinkin his Starbucks (decaf people don't freak out) and now he wants a Subway

Laughing hysterically at his own jokes....he is so much like his mama! lol

He had the biggest head! (10lbs 7 1/2oz and was all head...lol can you say OUCH!!)

So after spending all this time with him I realized something....I needed this just as much as he did. My pregnancy (with him) was very hard. I was at the lowest point of my life (emotionally) and it didn't help that I was moved to high risk because he was a twin, but the other baby had died while inside the womb and I almost lost him too! He was the perfect baby! I knew he was going to be funny when I noticed in his first ever picture (taken by my mother, the minister) he was flipping off the camera (definitely my son, lol)! His first word was "mama" and it came early, but after seeing my huge reaction to that word, he decided to start calling me baba and would laugh every time. I would beg him "zabey babey, pleeeeeease, stop calling me baba, say mama!! I know you can" and he would just sit and laugh and say "baba" over and over again (which is what he calls his father, it's arabic for daddy) but he's a mama's boy, there's no denying that...and he's VERY protective of his mama :)

When he was 2, he created, "The Kissing Monster!" It was meant to make me smile, and through obsessively lavishing me with kisses...tickle me into laughter! It worked every time lol! Then he would stand back and clap because he was so proud that he could tickle me 

But what really gets me are those eyes! They melt me! :)

Ya know that feeling when your baby's eyes meet yours for the first time? Times that by a million!! I could feel the most immense amount of love in those eyes :) and they still melt me on a daily basis!

He LOVES money! This was his first 100.00 bill

I HATED that dog!! He loved it though, he wants another one...noooo!

He's such a good big brother! What a lover :)

He's always doing something to try to take care of me....randomly making me coffee, bringing me ice water (he calls it the zabey babey special cus it's just the way I like it with a lot of ice)

(seriously...how great is this kid??)

"Dear Mom,

I just wanna thank you for being there for me since I was 1 minute old. I could tell that me and you would have a good relationship. You touch my heart every day I see you. Without you, I wouldn't want to be here. Youre funny, cool, amazing, and you take care of me before you. I love you so much and I want you to know that.

You are my best friend, Mom.
Zabien-Ali"



He is an amazing kid! He's different from any child I've ever known....he doesn't follow the crowd, he makes up what he thinks is popular and he doesn't care at all what people say about him. He is who he is and he likes it!

He sleeps with his eyes open (it's so weird), he bites his nails (I'm trying to get him to stop!), he has too many girls asking him to be their bf, he tends to stretch the truth a lil...he is a story teller 

I love him without a doubt he owns my heart